Laugh, let go and drive him wild with Amanda Bown’s guide to better sex.
1. Feel fabulous underneath
Sure, we all love to shop for super-cute dresses and hot-to-trot heels… but don’t overlook your knicker drawer, ladies! Investing in chic but slinky lingerie will give your partner a pleasant surprise, and – more importantly – will send your self-confidence through the roof (no Bridget Jones big pants moments for us, thanks). From full-on stockings to stylish matching sets, treat yourself and you’ll feel like a goddess in no time.
2. Try a striptease
Don’t worry, you don’t have to hurl your undies across the room or flip upside down on a pole to be seductive. Leave the complicated stuff to the professionals, we say! All you need to do is take undressing nice and slowly, and have fun. Start by slowly pulling your hair out of a ponytail and using your fingers to mess it up a little. Then unbutton your shirt, or slowly unzip your dress, letting your fingertips linger over fastenings, buttons and any exposed bare skin. Keep eye contact with your partner, keep it light and have a naughty laugh together!
3. Be touchy
Nothing loosens things up like a massage, so why not treat each other to some bedroom pampering? How your partner likes to be touched during a massage can give clues to how they like to be touched during sex, so take note of what he likes and what he doesn’t. Mark Sands, spa manager for the Himalayan Romance Package at Ananda (anandaspa.com) recommends floral fragrances like jasmine, vanilla and rose as aphrodisiacs, so try scented candles, massage oils or incense sticks. Rub oil in the palms of your hands to warm up before you touch your partner’s skin. And, remember, don’t rush it.
4. make a rendezvous
If the idea of role-playing scares you, keep it light and fun. Even little things can add a new zing to a relationship, so try putting aside a ‘date night’ and make an extra effort for each other. Why not rock a pair of killer heels that he’s never seen you in before, or slip into a new dress or special outfit? Create a new ‘buzz’ about the night, chat each other up again, and enjoy all the compliments that he showers you with!
5. Put the X in sex
Watching steamy films with your partner dramatically improves your chances of things heating up at home. ‘Studies at the University of Amsterdam [have] found that subliminal or conscious exposure to sexual images activates the body’s entire motor system,’ writes Suzi Godson, author of Sex Counsel (Cassell Illustrated, £7.99). ‘The more intensely sexual the visuals, the stronger the electric signals emitted by your spinal tendious reflexes.’ That might not sound sexy, but trust us…
6. Squeeze in more smooching
Smooching, snogging, making out… whatever you call it, kissing is just great fun. What’s more, it plays an important role in your relationship, as it creates intimacy between you when you’re not having sex. Squeeze in a few during your week when he’s least expecting it; when you’re in the kitchen cooking dinner, when he walks through the door from work, or simply when you’re watching telly together on the sofa. It’ll wake up his interest in you and yours in him.
7. Get some smart advice
Think a phone is just for calls and messages? Think again. Pioneering sex manual The Lovers’ Guide has launched its first app for Google Android smartphones, which promotes a healthy sex life as part of a healthy lifestyle. Consisting of clips costing £1 each, each snippet offers ‘how to’ advice, ratings for passion and difficulty, information about why it’s good for both of you, and suggestions for the more adventurous. See market.android.com and bodyinbalance.tv.
8. Get healthy to get hot
A new study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine has found that unhealthy lifestyle factors – such as lack of exercise, high alcohol consumption and smoking – are linked with sexual inactivity and even dysfunction. So, it seems a healthy lifestyle equals a hot love life… There’s an incentive to keep up a healthy diet and exercise regime if we ever needed one!
9. Get texty
Why not use everyday technology to have some fun? Create a sense of anticipation for you both by sending your partner a surprise – and slightly suggestive – text message during the day. It could be an affectionate thought, or something as simple as ‘can’t wait to see you later’ – but you’ll be amazed at the effect. Choose your timing carefully, though: he may want to drop everything he’s doing and rush home there and then!
10. Just do it
Most importantly, remember to make time for sex. Arousal and orgasms form part of a response mechanism that can be less intense and reliable if not used regularly. ‘If couples fail to invest in their relationship, it’ll deteriorate, regardless of whether they actually do anything wrong,’ warns sexpert Suzi Godson. What better excuse do you need to get busy in the bedroom?